The Remedials Versus Crazy Stolen Guitar Guy

Original Post Date: Wednesday, February 14, 2007

While on the Skytrain home from jamming at Charts and after having more than their fair share of beer while there, The Remedials and Dave (who they stole the name The Remedials from) were just chillin' minding their own business and talking amongst themselves. When along came a guy who was a musician as well. The dude seemed normal at first but looks can be deceiving…

The guy walks over and sits by The Remedials, Gabe of The Remedials still had his Epiphone SG (sniff, sniff…) in a rectangular case held together with duct tape while Wayne of The Remedials didn't have a case at all for his bass and when it rains he would just use a garbage bag to keep it dry. So the guy introduces himself and asks if we're in a band, The Remedials response is always "Unfortunately". He mentions that he plays guitar as well so The Remedials start talking with the guy about music and guitars. Everything seemed all right at first until he mentioned that his guitar had been stolen in a case similar to Gabe of The Remedials. Things really went south when Lionel of The Remedials says, "Oh, yeah Gabe likes to steal guitars…" Needless to say at that precise moment the guy instantly thinks that Gabe has his guitar in his case.

Unfortunately, The Remedials cannot use the real name of this person, (as well all locations are fictional) so he shall be forever known as "Crazy Stolen Guitar Guy" and that's because he was. During the intense Skytrain ride starting from Metrotown Station, where mud was slung and bitches were almost slapped! The Remedials and Dave remained cool and composed, even when the odds were clearly in The Remedials favour (four guys with instruments versus one really crazy guy). The Remedials even apologized for some strange reason and even showed "Crazy Stolen Guitar Guy" the guitar in the case was in fact not his guitar! Although, it was almost "Go Time!" when "Crazy Stolen Guitar Guy" stood up from his seat and leered over Wayne and Gabe saying, "Hey man, I'm not the guy who got his guitar stolen!" didn't help the situation.

The only other guy on the Skytrain car who overheard the whole altercation got off at Stadium Station before he exits he turn to "Crazy Stolen Guitar Guy" and says "Dude, you're a f_ckin' idiot!" When "Crazy Stolen Guitar Guy" gets off at Granville Station and mumbles more obscenities to himself and anyone who'll listen we all then realize that "Musicians are real jerks somtime!" Unless it's The Remedials who are jerks all the time! The Remedials and Dave all exit at Burrard Station and once topside, Wayne and Lionel of The Remedials book to Pub 340 to continue drinking while Gabe of The Remedials and Dave head to more high-class establishment… Hooter's.

Wayne and Lionel arrive at Pub 340 after they were able to get off sales. While there, they run into the guy who left the Skytrain and called "Crazy Stolen Guitar Guy" a f_cking idiot. Wanting to drink, Wayne of The Remedials grabs an empty pitcher and goes from table to table filling it with the bottom beer of every glass he could find the bartender must have thought this was amusing and helped out as well probably until Wayne drank the half full pitcher of collected bottom beer. The stunned bartender feeling sorry for the punk had a change of heart and decided to sell off sales to Wayne and Lionel well after last call. Having scored more beer they both staggered to Science World and hung out in the park drinking till the sun came up! Altogether an otherwise happy ending to what could have been a messed up night for "Crazy Stolen Guitar Guy" cause Wayne woulda turned him into a human pretzel.

Moral of the Story: "Karma, Kids!" and "Don't f_ck with Punk Rock Wayne!

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